


Through Gentle Eyes

by Ghostwriter (Zoya_Zalan)



Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Hint of Future Romance, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 03:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3553607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya_Zalan/pseuds/Ghostwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A simple shift in perspective can sometimes change everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through Gentle Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Acknowledgements: Many, many thanks go out to my beta readers, Carol, Catnip, and Rushlight for their insightful comments and suggestions. Their help is very much appreciated! As always, any mistakes still present in the story are entirely my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: George Lucas owns all things Star Wars; I'm just borrowing. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Written in January 2001.

~ * ~ * ~

At first, Qui-Gon Jinn ignored the sensation of his apprentice staring intently at him. The scrutiny wasn't entirely uncomfortable, but neither was it the type of behavior he had come to expect from his padawan learner after eight years of living and working side by side. After nearly ten minutes, Qui-Gon finally looked up from his datapad, his blue eyes meeting the intense gaze of his pupil.

Obi-Wan Kenobi's eyes widened slightly, almost as if he hadn't even been aware of his actions. His face held a hint of unsatisfied curiosity as he sheepishly acknowledged his master with a small smile before averting his gaze.

"Is everything all right, Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, Master," the young man answered passively, turning his attention back to his own reading material as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

It was Qui-Gon's turn to observe his apprentice carefully. They'd just returned from a particularly disturbing mission several days before, one that had ended with a complete breakdown of all diplomatic channels. The circumstances had weighed heavily on both of them, but after spending much time talking about it, both privately and with the Council, the Jedi master had been confident that his padawan wasn't overly troubled by the events. Perhaps he'd been mistaken?

"Did you have an enjoyable afternoon today?" he asked, eager to open communication between them once more in the event that Obi-Wan was reluctant to voice any further concerns about the mission. A neutral topic seemed appropriate to start with.

"Yes," Obi-Wan responded with another smile, looking up from his datapad. There was no hint of worry in his blue-green eyes. "Master Yoda invited me for tea; he would have extended the invitation to you as well had your presence not been required at the Senate hearing."

Qui-Gon nodded thoughtfully. Now they were getting somewhere. "Let me guess — he entertained you with embarrassing stories from my apprenticeship."

The younger man laughed softly, a welcome sound to his master's ears after so many weeks of extreme tension. "No, I've heard all those already, years ago."

Qui-Gon feigned astonishment, prompting another wave of laughter from his padawan. Of course he knew the venerable master had already imparted those amusing tales to his apprentice; it was standard procedure for such to be passed down from one generation to the next. Qui-Gon couldn't wait to carry on that particular tradition with whomever Obi-Wan chose as his own padawan learner someday.

The younger man's smile faded slowly as he shifted the discussion to the more serious level Qui-Gon had been anticipating. "I think he's worried about us," Obi-Wan began, his eyes unfocusing as he stared out the window at the busy nighttime sky. "We _have_ been sent on a lot of extremely difficult missions lately, and the last few haven't turned out very well. He wanted to know how we were faring."

"The unofficial version."

Obi-Wan nodded, looking back toward his master. "I couldn't speak for you of course, but I told him my impression, that you were handling the latest disappointment with all the dignity and confidence befitting a Jedi master."

"And how did you speak for yourself?" Qui-Gon continued gently.

The apprentice paused before answering, considering his words. "I explained that I was still disturbed by the events on Alastare Prime, and that I was having some trouble centering myself since then, though it wasn't interfering with my training. Yet."

Qui-Gon leaned forward, setting his datapad down and resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm proud of your honesty, Padawan, and I'm certain Master Yoda was as well. If you are still troubled by our last mission, perhaps we should discuss it further?"

"He thought I should approach you about this again, that it shouldn't be left as is, but I told him I wanted to be able to deal with these feelings on my own," Obi-Wan explained. "I need to learn how to let these kinds of things go if I'm to be an effective knight someday. I just wasn't sure how to do that, especially with a situation as devastating as this last one."

Qui-Gon nodded, noting that his apprentice's tone was even and relaxed despite the confession. "You've tried meditation?"

"Yes. I spent many hours releasing all my doubts and frustration into the Force, but the uncertainty always seemed to return."

Seemed? Past tense. Qui-Gon quirked an eyebrow curiously, waiting for his pupil to continue.

Obi-Wan paused again, his expression turning thoughtful. "Master Yoda gave me an exercise to work on, one he thought might help. He told me to set aside my own thoughts and look at the situation from entirely different perspectives. So I did.

"I meditated further, purposely placing myself in the Alastaran monarch's shoes, looking at the proposed treaty through his eyes. Then I switched, examining the situation through the eyes of the religious leaders whose very beliefs were being challenged, not by any God, but by a mortal who claimed to be above the word of their God."

"What was your conclusion?" Qui-Gon asked softly.

The apprentice met his gaze earnestly, a sparkle of recognition clearly visible in the ever-changing color of his eyes. "Though our presence as mediators at that assembly was crucial, we stood no chance of diffusing the tension between the factions, not after nearly a century of hostility and resentment. The Senate sent us to help minimize the damage of the fallout, not prevent it from happening."

A smile tugged at Qui-Gon's lips. "And when viewed from that standpoint, how do you see the outcome of our mission now?"

"If it weren't for us, the skirmish that took place outside the royal palace could have easily escalated into a massacre, with many more innocent people losing their lives. The mission was a success, not a failure," Obi-Wan finished quietly, grinning.

Qui-Gon’s smile widened. "Some things cannot be helped, Obi-Wan. This is one of the most important lessons a Jedi must learn. The Senate was very aware of the circumstances on Alastare Prime, but there was simply no hope of a peaceful resolution at this time. As diplomats, it was our duty to do all we could to forestall the situation, but no one expected us to perform a miracle. Where animosity runs that deeply, peace will not settle quickly. Destiny must never be rushed."

Obi-Wan lowered his gaze to the datapad in his lap. "You tried to tell me all this before, didn't you? I heard the words, but I didn't understand them until now."

"Insight is often much more valuable when it comes from within, Padawan. I'm glad you were able to resolve this issue on your own, and I'm sorry I didn't pursue the matter further," Qui-Gon apologized. "I didn't realize how much it was bothering you."

"That's all right, Master; this was a good lesson for me."

Qui-Gon watched as his apprentice went back to reading, a small smile still playing at his lips. Tilting his head slightly, he continued to scrutinize the younger man in front of him. Many minutes passed before Obi-Wan finally glanced back up. "Was there something else, Master?"

"I was hoping you could tell me," Qui-Gon commented wryly.

"I don't understand."

"You were staring at me before, rather intently I might add."

Obi-Wan’s face flushed. "Oh, that. It was nothing. I apologize if I disturbed you."

Qui-Gon's other eyebrow rose as he sensed a touch of embarrassment trickling through their training bond. "Nothing? I've known you for a long time, my Padawan, and staring at people, especially those you know well, isn't one of your usual habits."

"I was just exercising Master Yoda's suggestion about looking at things from different perspectives," Obi-Wan explained, fidgeting with his datapad. The movement didn't go unnoticed.

"You were examining me from a different perspective?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan nodded. "I was trying to see you as someone other than a Jedi master, trying to imagine a side of you that I hadn't considered before."

It was definitely an interesting thought. "And what did you see?" Qui-Gon asked with a touch of amusement.

Obi-Wan looked away, his face darkening to a deeper shade of crimson. He didn't respond.

"Obi-Wan," he chuckled, "you've piqued my curiosity now. You can't just leave me hanging."

The silence between them deepened, long moments passing before Obi-Wan finally spoke. "I was trying to imagine what kind of lover you are," he admitted quietly. "I've seen you in almost every conceivable situation over the years; that's really the only part of you that I've not been privy to."

Qui-Gon felt himself flushing from head to toe. This was about the last thing he'd expected to hear from his padawan. The expression on his face was probably rather interesting at that particular moment, but, thankfully, the younger man was still unable to look in his direction.

He considered Obi-Wan's confession thoughtfully. His pupil had gone through his share of anxiety and confusion during puberty — as any young person naturally does — but Qui-Gon had guided his padawan through adolescence with patience and sincerity. Interestingly, the typical padawan crush that usually accompanied the overwhelming surge of hormones hadn't appeared in their relationship as master and apprentice, leading Qui-Gon to assume that Obi-Wan favored the opposite sex exclusively. Perhaps he hadn't interpreted that correctly either?

A Force probe would have invaded Obi-Wan's privacy unnecessarily, so Qui-Gon decided to search for answers the conventional way. Leaning back, he resettled himself comfortably on the sofa, still watching his apprentice carefully. "What did you see when you looked at me, Padawan?" he repeated softly, allowing the younger man to hear that he wasn't upset by such forward speculation. Extremely curious, yes, but definitely not upset.

Obi-Wan finally turned to meet his gaze. While embarrassment still colored his features, his eyes were filled with unguarded admiration. He opened his mouth to speak, but then paused again, choosing his words carefully. Qui-Gon waited patiently.

"At first," the younger man began, "I only saw a Jedi master, the man who can intimidate people just by standing up... the man who I watched incapacitate two mynoch with his bare hands without even calling upon the Force for assistance. You rarely smile in public, especially while we're here at the Temple, and you save much of your polite conversation for the diplomatic arena where your skills as a negotiator are nearly unequaled. I imagine those who don't know you well find you to be a rather stoic individual.

"But I've seen a much different person while growing up. The imposing master has a soft spot for children and animals, always ready to shelter and protect. You chased away all the nightmares and monsters from my childhood, not with intimidation, but simply by allowing me to sleep curled up beside you. You never turned me away when I needed that comfort."

Qui-Gon smiled at the memory; he could often still hear the echo of small feet crossing his bedroom floor if he listened carefully enough with his eyes closed at night.

"As I watched you just now, the powerful Jedi master everyone sees on the outside began to change," Obi-Wan continued. "I saw a man filled with compassion and Light, always ready to offer assistance. You possess formidable strength, but I've really only seen that exercised during battle. The rest of the time your touch is extremely gentle and considerate. You have a kind, affectionate heart, and I believe that is the side of you your partners would have the honor of knowing: a gentle, attentive lover."

A powerful wash of emotion surged through their training bond, tinged with the unmistakable hint of desire. Qui-Gon's eyes widened as he felt the younger man slam his shields back into place, his face flushing deeply once more. Obi-Wan looked absolutely mortified by his momentary lapse of control, but it was apparent he wasn't ashamed of the feelings he'd accidentally allowed to slip out.

Taking a slow, deep breath, Qui-Gon finally found his voice. "I wasn't aware that your... preferences... also leaned in this direction, Padawan."

Obi-Wan grinned sheepishly. "I didn't either, actually," he admitted quietly. "I guess looking at the world through different perspectives teaches you a lot about yourself as well."

Qui-Gon continued to watch his apprentice carefully — really _looking_ at him this time. The insecure, awkward boy he'd known was definitely gone. In his place sat a strong and confident man, one prepared to face whatever destiny brought before him. Obi-Wan was every bit as compassionate and gentle as his master, the Light shining brightly within him, but there was also a bit of mischief sparkling in the depths of his eyes, revealing the playful nature hidden beneath his own reserved exterior. He probably thrived on teasing his own lovers relentlessly, drawing their pleasure out slowly...

Qui-Gon blinked abruptly, shocked by the direction of his own thoughts. Obi-Wan was eyeing him curiously, one eyebrow quirked slightly. A quick check showed him that his own shields were fully in place, much to his relief, but before he could even think about how to respond to his apprentice's confession, a silent whisper floated through their training bond. It was a question, simple and honest... and very bold.

Their gazes locked. Slowly, very slowly, Qui-Gon allowed one corner of his mouth to tug into a crooked grin. A smile crept slowly across the younger man's face as well, his eyes gradually changing from a calm blue-green to a bright sea-green color.

"Do you wish me to answer that now... or after you've been knighted?" Qui-Gon asked softly, his question a subtle reminder of the acceptable relationship between a master and apprentice as seen through the Jedi Code.

Obi-Wan's smile never wavered as he considered his response. "Perhaps it would be wise to wait," he finally said. "I think we'll both need time to prepare for that answer, whatever it may be."

Qui-Gon nodded, impressed by his apprentice's awareness and his honesty in acknowledging that he may not share the same sentiments. He was certainly prepared to offer the younger man his immediate answer, but realistically, only time would tell whether their individual feelings on the matter would change in the years to come.

As the silence stretched between them, Obi-Wan finally averted his gaze, setting his datapad on the table beside him. "If you'll excuse me, Master, I would like to meditate further on all that's happened today before retiring."

"Of course," the older man offered with a smile, watching as his apprentice got up and crossed the common area toward his bedroom. "Obi-Wan?"

His apprentice stopped and glanced back at him.

"Thank you, Padawan. You've opened more than one pair of eyes today."

Obi-Wan grinned. "You're welcome, but you should really thank Master Yoda."

"He is very wise," Qui-Gon expressed thoughtfully, wondering whether the ancient Jedi master had had any idea what he was starting when he'd suggested that particular exercise to Obi-Wan. Where Yoda was concerned, _anything_ was possible...

The younger man held his gaze a moment longer before paying his respects with a slight bow. "Good evening, Master."

"Sleep well, Obi-Wan," he smiled warmly.

As his apprentice disappeared into his bedroom Qui-Gon took a deep breath, releasing it forcefully as he leaned his head back against the top of the sofa and closed his eyes. "Force help me," he whispered softly to the empty room. "I think I'm falling in love with my Padawan..."

~ * ~ finis ~ * ~


End file.
